Many divorcing spouses hope to avoid litigation if at all possible. They may achieve this goal by committing to alternative dispute resolution instead of preparing for litigation. Mediation is an effective means of reviewing a conflict and finding a mutually-agreeable solution for the unresolved issues in a divorce.
Divorce mediation has become much more common in recent years. Spouses try to work with one another to settle their disagreements instead of fighting over custody, financial support and property division. Divorce mediation occurs in a private setting with the support of a trained mediator who guides the process. Proper preparation before mediation can increase the chances of success and limit how many sessions are necessary to reach a settlement.
What steps can spouses take to prepare for upcoming divorce mediation?
Learn the legal basics
Technically, couples have the authority to set the terms that they deem reasonable and appropriate in mediation, and those terms could be significantly different from what the courts might determine in a litigated divorce scenario. Still, understanding the rules that govern divorce litigation can help people establish baseline expectations for the outcome of the process. Spouses need to understand what happens during equitable property division litigation and how a judge divides parental rights and responsibilities. They can then set realistic goals and recognize when compromise is possible during mediation sessions.
Review marital records
Going over household financial statements and reviewing disclosure documents can help people understand what they need to address and identify where compromise might be possible. For example, one spouse might be capable of taking on more marital debt because of their higher income. They may offer to do so in exchange for a larger portion of the marital property. Reviewing records can also help people identify warning signs of dissipation, which may require special consideration during financial negotiations.
Practice emotional regulation tools
Mediation can fail if spouses let their emotions get the better of them during the process. A focus on the big picture is critical. So is the utilization of internal tools to promote calmness instead of reactivity. Learning a bit about emotional regulation and effective communication can make it easier for people to navigate the divorce mediation process successfully.
Some couples can resolve all of their disagreements in a single mediation session. Others have to sit down with a mediator multiple times before they work out a settlement. Knowing what to expect and preparing ahead of time can help people make the most of divorce mediation.