You may feel a sense of relief following the finalization of your divorce. We encourage you to take a deep breath and brace yourself for some news that you might not want to hear. According to TODAY, this is the point when the real work begins.
Divorce makes your life different, but it does not necessarily make it easier. From this point on there are things that you will have to do for yourself and for others. Knowing what to expect beforehand may help you to prepare.
What to do for your kids
One of the most important things is to avoid bad-mouthing your ex in front of your children. It may make them feel worse even if it makes you feel better. That is not an acceptable trade-off for a loving and responsible parent. Not only that, but it could hurt your relationship with your children in the long run because they may grow to resent your attitude.
Keep the lines of communication open between you and your children. Actively ask them how they are doing, but do not rely on their words alone. Look for behavioral clues that may indicate their true feelings.
What to do for yourself
Give yourself permission to feel bad about the divorce, regardless of whether you are the one who wanted it. Even if divorce turns out to be the right decision, it is still traumatic, and healing from trauma takes time.
You may experience an identity crisis following your divorce now that you no longer identify as someone’s spouse. Rediscovering who you are can be a difficult, but ultimately rewarding process. Take your time getting into a new relationship and be sure you have first healed fully.